i'm back!

Hi all,

today woke up in de afternoon, had seaweed rice, clean hammie cage and went to meet old sch fren Ivy for dinner at xinwang.

i felt supper happy talking with her as she shared her experience of her break up with me and everything. i really learn alot from her. enlightenment i shall say. she's some what quite similar to my bf in a way. their thinking is somehow similar too. felt like as though i was talking to joel heart to heart talk. hahas. well, i sense mre and mre positiveness in our relationship day by day. as im willing to chng all my bad tinkings and stuff. to slowly trust in him once again, not so clingy to him anymre and meet mre of my friends, to strike a balance in my life =).. cant believe all tis while joel has been trying to tell me this but i decline it everytime. thru this i learn felt like i have grown even mre mature and tend to realli treasure friendship ard me. after talking to ivy, i felt tt joel is like one of my treasure now and i am working towards getting it. but i have to chng myself 1st.
if you want smth, you cant expect the world to chng for you, but you can chng yourself for it. yup. thats my thinking for now. chng my lifestyle for the better. go for my dream in life. to make myself happy in what i do, then only i can make my partner happy. so i have to be happy 1st. which will take quite awhile.

i shall no longer set datelines anymre like hoping when he will come back to me n stuff, seriously, concentrate on what im gonna do 1st. stabalise it. then let nature takes it course in my relationship w joel again. relationship is one ting tt i cannot control. so why stress over it? since he had already given me the ans(which has hope). then i shd jus carry on with my life =).. start to be stronger in my emotions and stuff. yup. i choose to have faith in this relationship still. and yes, i sense positiveness in it. just need time to settle our own life issues 1st before we start both life tgt. it will be mre meaningfull.

i learn to take the truth as well. i find myself getting better in my emotion each day and not tink like its de end of the world becux there's still so much chance for us. just let nature take its course seriously.

yup^^
tts for now